Are You Too Hard on Yourself?
Do You Have Trouble Showing Yourself the Same Grace and Understanding You Offer to Others?
If you’re like most people, sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. Most of us are used to showing compassion to others, but often have trouble showing that same compassion to ourselves. We often say things to ourselves we would never say to a friend. This lack of compassion and negative self-talk can have a devastating effect on our lives. There is another way...
What if You Could...
Give Yourself a Break Will Show You How!
Kim offers practical steps, specific exercises, and compassionate words to say to yourself, to help you build a loving relationship with yourself. Through inspiring stories of transformation, she helps us learn to show ourselves the kind of grace and understanding we offer to others.
Most likely you’ve never been taught to handle being an imperfect human in a healthy way
Most of us learned to handle our mistakes, sins and mess-ups by doubling down…by trying harder…by being hard on ourselves as a motivator to not mess up again! Sometimes we try to deal with our shortcomings by denying they are even there.
The problem is these strategies don’t work for the long term. No one achieves long lasting growth by being hard on themselves. You might see some short-term success, but in the end our inner critic takes over…holding us to standards we would never apply to others. No one grows by ignoring problems and hoping they’ll go away.
We employ these strategies because we simply don’t know what else to do
A central foundation of the Bible is how essential it is for us to be reconciled with God and with others. And this is completely true. There can be no peace, no moving forward and no future for relationships where reconciliation has not taken place.
And guess what? This is also true about our relationship with ourselves.
We need a way to deal with our faults that doesn’t beat us up or ignore them. We need a way to care for those God has given us while also caring for ourselves. God knows all of us mess up, make mistakes, sin and do things we regret. This reality is no surprise to Him. He has made a way to reconcile with Him.
We Need a Way to Reconcile with Ourselves!
Kim Fredrickson has been helping her counseling clients do just this for 30 years
She noticed how hard they were on themselves when they failed, made mistakes, made poor decisions, or couldn’t foresee the future.
As Kim taught her clients about self-compassion integrated with their faith they grew emotionally, spiritually and relationally. They began to understand themselves, care for themselves, and talk to themselves as they would to a good friend who was struggling. They began a life-changing process of turning their inner critic into a compassionate friend.
“My heart went out to them because I saw them through such different eyes. I saw good people who were doing their best to deal with life. They sometimes succeeded and sometimes failed—just like all of us. What got them into trouble weren’t their failures, but what they did with them.
Many, but not all, of my clients had a strong belief in God and knew they were forgiven for their sins. However, even with this head knowledge, they didn’t always feel forgiven. Instead they felt like they either had to continue to punish themselves for what they’d done, or make up for it because they had no way to let their mistakes go.
What they needed was a concrete way to develop a kind and compassionate relationship with themselves. They needed to learn ways to care for and relate to themselves the way God does…with love, grace and truth.”
Praise for Give Yourself a Break...
“Sometimes the most destructive relationship we have is with our own self. We beat ourselves up without mercy and are endlessly critical of our sins, flaws, and failures. Give Yourself a Break addresses self-hatred and shame in a fresh way and challenges us with a grace-filled approach to seeing our inadequacies and sins.”
—Leslie Vernick, licensed counselor, coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
“In this unique book, Kim Fredrickson integrates the powerful practice of self-compassion with Christian faith. Give Yourself a Break is filled with practical tools and stories of everyday people who successfully learned to treat themselves with care and compassion rather than self-criticism. This book is a must if you yearn to experience what recent studies have shown—the power of self-compassion to positively transform your life and your relationships.”
—Georgia Shaffer, PA, licensed psychologist and author of Avoiding the 12 Relationship Mistakes Women Make
“We hear it every time we fly: ‘If the oxygen masks drop, secure your own mask before helping others.’ It feels selfish, but if we don’t take care of our own needs first, we’ve lost our ability to help others. Over the years, Kim Fredrickson has watched people value others while ignoring themselves, depleting their own reserves. In Give Yourself a Break she guides us back to healthy self-care as the foundation for impacting others. By helping us value ourselves the way God does, she hands us the oxygen mask. Grab it—it’s an excellent guide for the journey.”
—Dr. Mike Bechtle, speaker, consultant, and author of People Can’t Drive You Crazy If You Don’t Give Them the Keys
“I’m so impressed with this book! The truth you’ll find here is going to transform your life. Give Yourself a Break offers insight into the ways we lack compassion for ourselves, how that impacts us, and how we can speak God’s truth and grace into our life. When we truly see ourselves the way God does—with love and compassion—it changes everything! But an even greater benefit of this book is that the more compassion we have for ourselves, the more we have to give away. And in the bigger picture of life, that’s what it’s all about.”
—Barbara Wilson, bestselling author of Free: Finding Freedom and Healing from Your Past
“It’s amazing to me that we are taught our whole lives to be nice to others but rarely are we taught to be nice to ourselves. In Give Yourself a Break Kim Fredrickson inspires and instructs us into a deeper and fuller way to be nice to ourselves. Be compassionate to yourself and get this book, and apply these truths to your life. It may just be the best thing you will ever do for yourself.”
—Chuck Wysong, pastor of Life Community Church, Roseville CA